Honestly, there’s no way for me or anyone else to answer that question for you… You are obviously 9 mos into a relationship that you feel strongly enough about to have agreed to relocate together. And by “relocating” I assume that means you’ll be getting a place together and going half on the bills? If that’s true sis you’ve obviously already made some very major decisions about who you are, what you want, and what you are willing to risk. And that’s really what this question is about, Risk vs. Reward. And no one can possibly know how much risk you’re comfortable with but you.
However, the fact that you’re asking me how long you should wait implies that you are already getting a little nervous about the arrangement. I would think that is a strong indicator of how you really feel in your heart about the level of risk to which you are currently exposing yourself. Asking this question clearly indicates that you are trying to figure out how much risk is reasonable… But sis this isn’t a question of reasonable it is a question of comfortable.
Bottom line here is that I would trust my instincts and play it safe. There is much about this situation that would make the average woman very uncomfortable. For example you seem to be skipping a step or two in the development of your relationship. Assuming you’ve been dating long distance for 9 mos, you really have no clue who this guy really is. It would seem to me a more logical next step would be for him to move to where you are and get his own place. No need to move in together… none at all, at least not right now. There’s a whole entire stage of the relationship that is missing, but very critical to the development of your trust and respect for each other.
Please understand that all I can offer you at this point is my opinion. And unfortunately there are far too many missing variables in this equation for anyone other than you to come up with the answer for which you are looking. Based on the decisions you’ve already made you are clearly dancing to you own tune and can wait as long as you like… it’s your song sis and no one else can possibly know what’s going on in your head. But if you are uncomfortable for any reason give that your strongest consideration.
One last parting thought, as a general rule I recommend to everyone woman who aspires to be a wife that she shouldn’t sign up to “act” like one until she is one. But that’s a personal choice and a matter of faith so no one can make that decision for you but you sis.
I know that’s not much to go on, but this really is a question you are going to have to answer for yourself. I hope this helped you in some small way. Thanks for trusting me with your question.
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visit: http://www.BoSpeaks.com/
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Steven “Bo” Beaudoin Jr. Author, Speaker, Trainer, Entrepreneur, and Philanthropist.
a champion of Christ centered clarity, motivation, and focus.
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